The hotels I've stayed at during my casino vacations! †

Every couple of months, I take a short vacation to Las Vegas
(my doctor says the desert air should be good for my lungs).
I visit a number of casinos during each trip, chasing down the
rare single-deck blackjack and the secret $19.95 twin lobster
tail dinners, but I stay at one of the hotels connected to an
off-the-Strip casino. The prices are lower off the Strip, and the
quality... isn't that bad. Really.

The 1125

1129 Drygulch Ave.

Bonus: Droning hum from ice machine in corridor provided white noise, which helped me fall asleep.
Malus: Instead of a mint on the pillow, housekeeping left an unwrapped conversation heart candy reading STILL THE 1.

The Citadel

809 Bypass St.

Bonus: Mini fridge contained two muffins and a bottle of Tsingtao beer.
Malus: Behind the closet door, instead of a normal closet, I found a small room with cinder-block walls and a concrete floor, 2 meters square, containing only a rickety wooden chair. There was nowhere to properly hang my blazer.

The Prometheus

14C Eagles Way

Bonus: Fast, free wi-fi.
Malus: Very lumpy, hard mattress. Woken at 5 AM by cacophony of bird noises.

The Okefenokee

23 Blackwater St.

Bonus: Bathroom had trial-size bottles of shampoo, conditioner AND body wash.
Malus: Musty smell, humid air, lingering scent of cigar smoke in a non-smoking room.

The Astley

88 Redpoll Blvd.

Bonus: Concierge helped me obtain a phone charger and oatmeal cookies.
Malus: Concierge fee of $15 per request. TV occasionally changed channels or turned off by itself.

The Mauna Loa

440 Pacific Ave.

Bonus: Complimentary packet of macadamia nuts.
Malus: Part of ceiling collapsed during second night of stay. Was not injured, but very shaken up.

The Baskerville

1902 Barrymore St.

Bonus: Exceptionally thorough housekeeping.
Malus: Air conditioner rattled loudly. Desk lamp flickered.

The Reverb

130 Dubois St.

Bonus: Wakeup call was made by a real live human, not a recording. Soft carpet.
Malus: Walked through a doorway while trying to find the fourth-floor vending machines. When attempting to return, there was a solid wall where the doorway had been. Wandered for 10 minutes through corridors; somehow emeged on the ground floor despite never encountering stairs or elevators. (Did get a 3 Musketeers bar and a grape Fanta along the way.)

The Popover

8 Pillsbury Dr.

Bonus: Made a reservation for two nights. Was billed for two nights. Everything I brought with me was in my bags at the end of my stay, and the bags were secured in the trunk of my car.
Malus: About an hour after I checked in, there was a knock on my door. When I opened it, three older women forced their way into the room and, before I could object, one covered my nose and mouth with a strange-smelling cloth. I woke up in the front seat of my car. Somehow five days had passed. I don't remember anything else.

The Bathyscaphe

7 Maritime Ave.

Bonus: Minibar was stocked with cheap bottles of decent alcohol. Received $10 in complimentary casino chips.
Malus: Room was quite small. Every sound I made echoed loudly.

The Madrigal

119 Toreador Dr.

Bonus: Room featured a waterbed, a microwave and a digital mini slot machine.
Malus: Spent $60 playing the machine; got a single $5 payout..

The Lenscap

1501 Yucca Blvd.

Bonus: Fast check-in and checkout.
Malus: Casino and restaurant were both closed due to a recent fire.

The Iscariot

819 Third St.

Bonus: Spacious balcony, large bathroom, high ceiling.
Malus: Room reserved was no longer available; had to pay extra for upgrade.

The Hypercube

233 Industrial Ave.

Bonus: None.
Malus: Despite the name, room was literally just half of a shipping container (divided crudely with unpainted drywall) with an Army cot and a folding chair. Occupant in the other half snored loudly.

L'Hôtel Oublié

18 Quaso Rd.

Bonus: Peaceful and quiet until demolition work started at dawn after fifth night.
Malus: Hotel went out of business a day after I checked in. Nobody told me..